As if she could forget

{ April 8, 2009 @ 3:05 am } · { Poems and Songs }

Sometimes she lies awake and thinks about her life, about the one cold night that she lost all sense of ownership over “her own body”. In the dark she remembers hearing the blood curdling screams as they poured out of her but seemed far away, as if they belonged to someone else… The sound so crystal clear in her head is still sends chills up her spine almost a year later. She remembers searing pain both in her body and in her heart and how for weeks after she bled and shook uncontrollably- but nobody noticed. She remembers not being able to fight or will herself to move almost at all; more from fear than the pain which riddled through her. Remembering his calm face, voice and demeanor shrugging the whole thing off as her fault makes her want to be violently sick. She remembers running and running and running, as fast and as far as she could until she could go no farther less her lungs explode. She remembers being too afraid to leave her house, and the shame of the secret never to be washed off. She remembers the nightmares that never seem to disappear and give way to many sleepless nights. She knows how stupid it is of her to remember all of this and to think of it at all, but she remembers EVERYTHING! … As if she could ever forget.

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